


there’s nothing to do right now (but try)

by ydididodis



Series: sad rosa all the way [2]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Panic Attack, Sad Rosa, and we’re back at angst, anxiety attack, beginning relationship, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 13:47:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17726357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ydididodis/pseuds/ydididodis
Summary: It’s a usual day at the precinct and Gina can lists facts over facts to confirm this for anyone who’d ask. For example Jake is still coming in late for work even though he’s married to Amy Santiago and Charles talks about his sex life like he’s talking about his current case. Or that there is always happening something unexpected every day.She finds a head of black locks neatly tugged into the far off corner in Babylon and it takes some time before she realizes who it is.It’s Rosa Diaz and Gina finding her mid anxiety attack. (Inspired by @foreverlinetti on tumblr)





	there’s nothing to do right now (but try)

It’s been a very usual day at the 99th precinct. At least Gina thinks so. And she has a lot of evidence for that.

Fact the First: Jake came in late. He’s married to Amy now and they’re living together, yet he still does not manage to be on time.

Fact the Second: The Captain was very much on time. To the second. And he didn’t even blink when Jake came in, loudly announcing that he is “definitely gonna crack that case” he’s been hung up on for the past month and counting. Jake is sure he is close though. (But the Captain did look shocked - as shocked as he can look - when Charles went from “You’re the best, Jake” to telling him about his and Genevieve’s love life and what they did last night. A story no one wanted to hear. Gina would rather bleed out of her ears and risk never hearing Beyoncé again than listen to another word coming out of Boyle’s mouth.)

Fact the Third: The Vulture came in to steal Jake’s case.

Fact the Fourth: He flirted with Rosa, who was wearing space buns today, trying to mix it up and she just snarled at him and whipped out a dagger she was hiding in... actually she doesn’t know where the Latina was hiding it.

And when he came closer, Rosa got up and vanished. That was _very_ unusual. And she wasn’t back yet either.

“Ugh, whatever”, Gina thinks before she returns her full attention back to Kwazy Kupcakes. She’s sure the detective is doing just alright (that’s Fact the Fifth). If she needed something, she’d let Gina know in some way or another, she thinks.

Fact the Sixth is that Rosa in space buns looks absolutely stunning. It’s a look she should wear more often. It’s also realizing that she doesn’t know what Rosa and her are. She knows the younger woman isn’t one for labels or relationships - and neither is she - but it doesn’t sit right with her to _not_ know what they are. She’s Gina Linetti, she knows everything. They only kissed once but they always have lunch together and they make sure the other one always has something to drink.

She just wants Rosa to be hers. She wants to call her “her girlfriend”. It’s not that hard to understand, is it?

* * *

She suddenly realizes that she doesn’t want to be around these people anymore - Scully and Hitchcock, one not wearing a shirt and the other inspecting something on the formers exposed back, chest stuck out right into her line of vision and Terry gone to interview some suspects - so she gets up and makes her way to Babylon. Finally some peace away from the crazy crowd.

Gina enters through their secret passageway and lets some clean cold water run over her hands, when she hears some shuffling and whimpering from behind her. 

So she moves to one side, and witnessed something she didn’t expect at work of all places (granted, when Gina picked Rosa up from prison she got to see the aftermath _and_ deal with it but she hoped it wouldn’t happen at their work place). The mirror exposes a frightened head of black locks neatly tugged in the opposite corner of the room. Knees are drawn to their chest and arms grasping around each other and clawing in their skin, with knuckles that have definitely turned white at that point.

This is Rosa. New and improved, but still mostly badass, leather-jacket-wearing and knife-conjuring Rosa Diaz she shared only one kiss with in the bathroom at Shaw’s Bar. Both of them still sober. And Gina still doesn’t quite know what to do because what to do when someone’s having an anxiety attack? Or worse: flashbacks.

In a way, Gina gets why Rosa hid in Babylon. It’s calm and clean, there’s fresh water and it smells like lavender. She would’ve done the same.

The auburn haired woman takes a deep breath and turns around.

“Rosa, babe? Can I sit next to you?”, she doesn’t get an answer, just sobs and sniffles. So she decides she will sit next to her, approaching with careful steps until she reaches the opposing wall only to lean against it and slowly slide down. There’s still some space between them, a space where Gina puts her hand, an offering of safety.

“I’m here. You’re not alone in this, babe. Can I touch you?”, and Rosa, though still hugging herself and her head hidden, nods. A nod hat could’ve easily been missed or mistaken for a tremble if you were blinking.

Gina tentatively reaches out her hand, hovering over Rosa’s before she puts it on top of the other woman’s hand, just clawing itself in her arm. “Let go, Rosie”, she coaxes while carefully prying off her fingers until her arms fall limb to the side. “You’re safe, baby girl”, she whispers repeatedly while running her fingers up and down the tan skin of the detective’s arm.

They sit like this for a while. Eventually holding hands.

Again, they’re going through the whole _five things you see, four things you feel, three things..._ ordeal and it seems to help. Gina breathes a sigh of relief. 

”I’m gonna hug you now”, the admin declares out of the blue while pulling the younger woman into her lap and engulfing her in a tight embrace.

Rosa lets her head fall onto the other woman’s shoulder, smelling her perfume mixed with lavender. She feels exhausted and drained and just wants to sleep. It really takes everything of her not to pass out right this second. 

She starts talking for the first time: “Can we-“, her voice is hoarse, she’s clearing her throat “can we go home?”

“Your place?”, Rosa nods. “Yes of course. But first, we have to get that eyeliner off your checks, girl. You look like a legit mess.” They both chuckle while the administrator gets up to fetch a towel and let it soak in water. She then returns and kneels before the detective, dabbing the black streaks off the previously crying girl and then offers a hand to her and pulls her on her feet.

They stop right outside the Captain’s office. “Do you want me to go with you?”, Gina asks tentatively. Rosa nods again. So she knocks for her and they enter, well aware that everyone in the precinct is staring at them.

Rosa explains that she isn’t feeling well and Gina chimes in that she will take care of the detective. The Captain is very understanding (unbeknownst to them he saw Rosa having a breakdown before and just _knows_ that this is a similar situation. He gave her her much demanded space and is glad someone will take care of her this time) and tells them to come back tomorrow or call in sick if she does not feel better, and that she’s allowed to adjust to her situation for as long as she needs. Whatever that situation might be.

They take Gina’s car and Rosa falls asleep not one minute into the drive. She barely made it to the car as is. Gina smiles, then frowns. She doesn’t know where the now sleeping woman lives. Deciding she won’t wake her, she takes them to her own place, carrying the surprisingly light woman up the stairs into her apartment and into her bed.

The sleeping girl needs to regain some energy.

* * *

When she wakes up, she is confused. These aren’t her sheets and _this_ definitely isn’t her room. It’s starting to get dark, the sun setting slowly but the panic rising quickly.

Just like that she can’t breathe anymore. Her eyes are darting aimlessly, looking for a way to escape, but all the doors are closed. She tries to get some oxygen into her system, gasping like she’s about to drown, but it won’t enter her lungs and she doesn’t know where she is and... What if _he_ is here? She is here because of him? How did he find her? How did he get her here? Why didn’t she wake up? Fuck! She can’t be alone with him!

She accidentally knocks over a glass of water. A shattering that sends her into overdrive, crawling back to the other side of the bed and falling off if eventually. She screams and hides under it. “NO!” Maybe he won’t find her if she hides. But he did find her in prison. He will always find her. And she will always live in fear. 

Bad enough she had a freak out at work today because of the Vulture coming too close. Invading her private space, not afraid of her dagger or her glares. Coming even closer. She couldn’t stand it. What if he would’ve done the same as _him_? He definitely seems like the type to do so.

A door opens quickly, followed by an alarmed auburn haired woman. “Rosa, babe! What hap-“ but she can’t find the woman anywhere. Just the remainders of what was a glass filled with water. 

“No, no no no no no. Por favor, no”, she hears coming from under the bed and it clicks. She gets down on her knees, to look under the bed and finds a head of black locks widely staring at her. Not at her, just emptily staring while murmuring “no” like it’s a prayer. 

Gina reaches out one hand and lays it in front of Rosa’s face, another peace offering. “It’s me, Gina”, she lets the detective know. She tries to tell her that she’s safe from whatever she thought was happening. That she’s okay. At this point the civil administrator swiped the shards away with her hands and is also laying on the floor, facing Rosa. And she doesn’t care that she’s basically laying in a puddle of water, now soaking wet.

Finally the other woman grasps her hand, basically crushing it, and Gina pulls her out and into her arms. The trembling woman still crying, still not knowing what exactly is going on. “You’re safe. We’re in my apartment and this is my bed, the bedroom. You’re safe, babe. You’re safe.” Rosa hides her face in Gina’s neck, instantly feeling a bit more calm. 

And again they just lay like that for a while. One still holding onto the other’s hand like her life depends on it, while they embrace, waiting for the storm to pass.

“I’m so- I’m sorry.” Rosa eventually whispers.

“What for?”, Gina is confused. There was nothing to be sorry for. 

“I don’t know. Everything.”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it for now. Let’s just go to the living room and watch some TV, alright? I made pasta and was just about to wake you up for dinner.” 

Looking at the clearly exhausted woman Gina has to chuckle. Her hairdo is messed up, disheveled, one bun completely undone.

They get to the sofa and Rosa lets herself fall into the cushions, while Gina goes to change her outfit first, not being able to stand to wear the wet and cold clothes that are clinging to her body and then returning to the kitchen, fetching the dinner she was just talking about. 

It’s how they spend their evening. Eating and cuddling and watching “stupid” Disney movies (Rosa’s words, though suspiciously, she knows all the words to all the songs, no matter which movie they watch). Gina redoes Rosa’s hair and kisses her on the forehead. It ends with them making out. 

First rough and needy, a hunt for a promise of safety and that everything will turn out to be just alright. That there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Then soft and tender and loving. Another promise that they will try. Try to find a solution. Try to find answers. Try to find an okay between them. 

Together. 

“I owe you one for taking care of me but only if you never ever tell anybody about this. Or I will kill you. And I mean it.” Gina laughs at this. Of course Rosa would threaten her. 

They fall asleep on the sofa, entangled with each other. 

(The last thing both of them think before they fall asleep is “I think I’m falling in love.” 

And for the first time since the night she returned from prison, Rosa feels content and safe and sleeps through the whole night almost undisturbed.

Gina realizes that for now she is okay with not knowing what they are. And she hopes that this will become their usual: Watching movies, doing nothing, and eating some home made food in silence. Cuddling and making out. She will love the future they will build for themselves. 

She knows that as long as Rosa is happy, she will be happy as well.)


End file.
